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Legal consultation

Barbarian Diordieva - the lawyer, an analyst.
If you had legal issues, the problems connected with realisation of your rights, and also the questions, concerning legislations.

Lady Boss and the man

Why one love, and others marry?

Unfortunately or to the pleasure, not all marriages come true in heavens. Today, as it is not regrettable, the marriage on love is almost same rarity, as well as vanishing species artiodactyl, brought in the Red book. If to trust statistics, only 10 from 100 marriages consist on the big and light love. The modern youth even jokes in this occasion: the Marriage not a lottery. In a lottery you have a chance …

Marriage to become a vanishing species of relations. It is more than half of pairs prefer so-called free relations (civil marriage) or free love. The last shows a certain similarity of east type of marriage relations – t. e at one man can be 2 and more women, and at one woman of 2 and more men.

And nevertheless men enter marriages. So them moves, what forces to go meaningly on such a victim??? We will try to understand; why men, love one, marry others.

The reason 1. To marry on beautiful, clever and rich …

Remember an aphorism: If you wish to marry on clever, beautiful and rich – you should marry three times.

Really, having been engaged in a choice of the future spouse, the man initially defines for itself a number of criteria to which it should correspond. Often it turns out so, that that for which he feeds tender feelings, is not able to bake at all pies under the ancient mum's recipe and even close does not answer an image of the ideal spouse. The exit one – to marry Masha Ivanovoj that it baked pies and looked after a mum's geranium, and to love it will be possible everybody.

Facing a similar sort situations, I always recollect words of mother of my girlfriend. Once, even before wedding, the girlfriend admitted to it, that does not love the future husband. "Anything", - mum has answered, - I too love Invara Kalninysha, and I live with your daddy … and anything …. Yes, and so too happens.

The reason 2. In search of an ideal.

The same situation with a choice of the future spouse by criteria can turn back for the man the present tragedy also on that that, its ideal will not find in it the reflexion. In this respect is, an old wise parable about two ideals.

One man in a youth has decided, that marries only that girl who will correspond to its representations about an ideal. It has travelled all next settlements and anything even otdalenno similar that searched, has not found. Then he has decided, that will be started up in wandering on all this world on searches of the dream.

Friends and relatives dissuaded it, but it of nobody having listened, was started up in a long way. 10 years were spent by the young man in wanderings, has much seen, has much gone through, but the ideal woman and has not found for itself. What remains to it? To return and live the life rest bobylem. On road to native places to it there was a girl of unknown beauty. Having got to talking with it, he has understood, that has found that, searched for so much years. The man has told to it about the wanderings, admitted, that searched for its all life and has made its the proposal. The girl has smiled and has answered: You searched for the ideal for hundreds versts from here, and I have found the absolutely close, forgive, but I already have a husband and I love it most on light.

If to you has carried to find the ideal, it still does not mean at all, that you as ideally will approach this person. At everyone the ideal.

Coming back to a theme, it is possible and it is necessary to tell, that collision with such discrepancies often compels men for desperate acts. For example, on marriage with the unloved woman. In this case very much it would be desirable to give advice to the despaired martyrs: to Choose the bride silly! The main thing – to choose the mother-in-law!

The reason 3. Second time by calculation …

I think, that the phrase is familiar to many readers: First time marry on the love, the second by calculation, the third on a habit. Me 2nd time much more interests.

In our financially-astable time when the prices for oil rostut, and America diligently steals up to the East, the confidence of tomorrow is extremely necessary for men. Speaking about marriages of convenience, I do not mean only a financial side. Take above. Calculation goes on the power, career growth, position in a society, popularity and other, applied on the wife privileges.

When it is a question of all aforesaid, the rare man is capable to resist temptation, even if its future or taken place spouse the old terrible vegetable with a set of false teeth and coming unfastened feet. For bolshej clearness I will cite as an example one of the best novels Gi de Maupassant the Lovely friend. Simply read it and at you to develop rather certain opinion on the most grey male is capable of what calculation.

Is also such, who enters a marriage of convenience to provide the beloved with all that she deserves. Before them I take off a hat. The love can justify almost all …

The reason 4. Married live longer …

One my friend very much liked to repeat: the Lie, that the married live longer. It only seems to them, - did not marry yet.

Marriage is in certain degree a stereotype developed and taken roots in our consciousness. As though strenuously the western culture from us did not root out it, it and sits to this day deeply.

Also there is nothing unnatural that the normal average man dreams to have a family, wishes to beat nails in a hall together with the son and there are pelmeni on Sundays. In a reality this silent happiness only dreams much.

Why? In a youth we chase chimeras, at mature age long and carefully we look narrowly in order to avoid an error and as a result on what and we do not dare, and when we look back at relatives and friends who have got a nest and baby birds we start itself to adjust. In a lexicon there is an unpleasant word "IS necessary" from for a long time forgotten pioneer childhood. Relatives and friends painfully sting grease jokes on this theme and by that imperceptibly press on so loosened mentality.

And crowns this notorious scenario wedding with the first woman under a hand. About any love and to speak it is not necessary. It is a pity only, that words from A.Pugachevoj's song are forgotten:

… It would be necessary, it would be necessary, it would be necessary

It is necessary to fall in love

But I can not, I can not, I can not,

I can not and do not want …

Even children know today, that for creation of a high-grade cell of a society of one it "IS necessary" catastrophically a little. Something Is necessary much bigger …

5. Marriage is a continuous marriage? And other reasons.

The reasons for the introduction into marriage not on love huge set. It and unexpected pregnancy of the girlfriend which already was going to leave, and desire of change of a vital rhythm (when all has bothered it is necessary to try something else), and desire to be favourite, not loving most and fear of loneliness, an old age, feebleness and it is a lot of still that. Such marriages are obviously doomed to a failure.

Such marriage is a continuous marriage, except for result (children). It is a lot of reasons – many consequences. Sadly to understand, that the today's validity dictates us the rules, and men even more often agree to play on them in a life, refusing to themselves in the most important thing – in love.

Albina Tagieva

Thanks for article