Archives on months

October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
August 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006

Legal consultation

Barbarian Diordieva - the lawyer, an analyst.
If you had legal issues, the problems connected with realisation of your rights, and also the questions, concerning legislations.

The rights of women

The nature of sexual harassments

It is necessary to remember, that would be erroneous to divide a thing and events on black and white. Actually all is much more multi-colour and colourful. Concerning harassments I wish to tell, that all is far not so unequivocally as it seems at first sight. For today of the woman are more active, than men. And about crisis maskulinnosti does not speak unless the lazy psychologist. Men gradually depart from an image of the aggressive macho with type installations You is Jane, I am Tarzan and the Woman - joy for the soldier.

It is necessary to add, that process of transformations of psychology of men is irreversible, though and not so is rapid, as though we would like. But men study to speak about the feelings and to listen to feelings of women.

Would do an injustice completely to deny existence of a similar problem. The sexual inclination is normal and natural to any person. The another matter, that imposing of sexual relations often is unpleasant experience and quite often forces the person to feel a thing. Certainly, psychological violence is inappropriate. However not any behaviour of sexual character can be treated as harassment. Is both attention display, and expression of feelings. The man can test the best feelings in relation to the woman, have the most serious intentions and render it attention signs. He offers it itself(himself): "Well, pay to me of attention, I good!" Very often sex, how many an attention part is necessary to the man not how many. And this woman is pleasant to it. In a modern rhythm of a life, to people does not get dialogue. Among constant stress it would be desirable a discharge. Will shout in this case about harassment not absolutely correctly. I wish to remind, that in this case sharp refusal will be very painful and, most likely, will generate response. Will be involved in the conflict much easier, than to untangle it. It is very important to feel nuances and shades. Would be not correct to see men in black tones. The set of men addresses for the psychological help. In them there is no aggression in relation to women. Very often they say about the love to the woman, that they wish to make its happy, do not know, how to it about it to tell, be afraid, that it will give up to them. They not so spiteful maniacs, they simply would like heat and attention.

Another matter if he tries to receive it by intimidation and blackmail. But such cases a rarity. In such cases very important correctly to react. Self-assured women find weight of ways to leave from unnecessary attention. It is possible not in absolutely standard way. For example, if the woman confidently answers: "I am ready. When?", most likely will result the torturer in a semishock condition.

By the way, in the USA where the norm about harassments really operates, men are afraid to approach to get acquainted with the woman in the street literally. And suddenly it the radical feminist? Yes, and frankly speaking, in the USA start to depart from the rigid relation to the given problem. Moreover, the second sexual revolution there becomes ripe. Therefore it is necessary to avoid extreme measures. It is very important to see nuances and shades. For example, whether he wishes to offend me? Whether it presses on me? Look narrowly more attentively! All can be much easier. Simply before you the man which very much tries to you is pleasant and does not know how to pay your attention. He wishes to tell to you: "Well, look, look at me! Well, talk to me a little. Listen to me! Stay with me a little. I not the most bad guy in this city. I yet such old!"

And one more. For the woman it is very important and very difficult to define that it wants. For someone a problem is surplus of attention, for someone its absence. Flirtation on work is simply necessary for many women, and they meaningly or subconsciously provoke attention of colleagues. It really weighs some. But only units of women can correctly understand, who before them. The malicious maniac or the man for whom it is necessary you only a few attention? In the work "Feminity" some years prior to death seventy-year Freud, summed up searches of the answer to a question "That the woman wants?". And what these results? He has noticed, that its own understanding of an essence of feminity is "incomplete, partial and not always positive:" That the life, its poetic interpretations or results of scientific researches can give fuller answer. What it is possible to add to these words? Personally I have a desire once again to take off a hat before the patriarch of psychoanalysis.

Valentine Smirnov